If you know me, you probably notice that I literally go no where without my cell phone.
I walk across the office at work, my phone is my hand. I run outside to check on the kids in the backyard, I’ve got my phone. It goes with me everywhere.
Some people might think I’m addicted to my technology or just a little crazy. I mean I love my social media apps and my ridiculously addictive coloring game as much as the next cell phone user. However, it goes a lot deeper than that.
It was a regular old Wednesday afternoon in July when I hopped in my car and drove it around the building from one parking lot to another. I was meeting someone that I had been in contact with through Facebook to buy a baby bouncer/saucer.
I grabbed my phone and brought it with me in case the seller called me or sent me a message prior to her arrival.
I don’t remember if I met her that day or if it was later. I just know I was glad I grabbed my phone.
It was in that instant as I sat in my car in the parking lot listening to an audiobook on my car stereo that I got the phone call I will never forget. It was the phone call from my daycare lady that my infant daughter wasn’t breathing.
That was the phone call that changed my life forever. If I hadn’t had my phone with me, who knows how many minutes would have ticked by before I finally connected with my babysitter.
Since that day, my phone has not left my side. I honesty have got a little bit of anxiety and fear when I don’t have my phone close by. I take it with me literally everywhere.
I worry that I could miss that call about one of my children, my husband while he’s traveling or another emergent call.
Of course I can’t live in the world of horrible what if’s. I know that’s true.
In some ways I think having my phone with me at all times makes me feel like I have even just the slightest bit of control over the uncontrollable in my life.
The only times I’m truly comfortable without my phone by my side with when my children and my husband are all close by and the worry seems to fade away.
Maybe the fear will grow less and the anxiety will fade with age but for now just know my phone is by my side for a reason.