I went back to work this week and by all accounts, I think the week has been a bit of a disaster.
So I’ve been on furlough for three months and got the call to come back to work last week.
However, due to some appointments and my daughter’s dance recital, I had to put off the return a week.
Well apparently my return was forced by the fact that one of the other people in my department quit unexpectedly and my services were needed post haste.
However, my boss didn’t tell my of the urgency so I held off and week and now that I’m back, it’s been a hit the ground running thing to say the least.
I’ve been working like a crazy person after taking off for three months from a job I had only really been doing on my own for six to eight months prior.
My return has also been a bit of a struggle in that I had plans for changes in my career path in the month before the pandemic really hit the U.S. and before I was furloughed.
Those plans were squashed, mashed, beat and thrown out the window when I was called to return to work. I was hurt, upset, angry and a myriad of other emotions at that and at that point, I didn’t even know my co-worker had quit suddenly.
Since I received that call, I’ve taken on the mantra, “I am fortunate to have a job with a paycheck and insurance for my children and I will do my job to the best of my abilities.”
And while that’s great and I have been no less than absolutely busy in my first two days back, my heart still longs for my dream that is so far off right now I can’t even imagine it.
Work life is crazy and home life is no less out there.
My husband had been traveling during the week since early- to mid-May meaning that the kids and I have spent A LOT of time together the last several months.
My return to work meant that the kids would be returning to daycare full time. That means getting up at least an hour earlier in the morning and not getting home until evening five days a week.
While the kids do enjoy their daycare and their friends there, there is no doubt that we have become a very close trio the last few months. We all knew this time would come and I think the anxiety has been building in the last week.
My daughter, whose sleep patterns have been messed up by all the stress and changes that came with the pandemic, has suddenly found even falling asleep at a reasonable hour almost impossible. On top of that, she thinks she needs to snuggle with me every night. She’s a big snuggler.
My son, who I have found does not sleep well if he’s in my bed all night, is doing a little better in that department. However, I think all the work in potty training we’ve done in the last few months has regressed in the last few weeks.
I’m not sure what’s caused it but I’m sure tired of that mess.
Add on top of that my guilt for keeping my dog in a kennel eight-plus hours a day while I’m at work along with a variety of pool issues, including kid poop and leaks galore, and needless to say, I’m a bit of a mess.
I know that my little world will normalize and steady out in this new routine just as it did when I was sent home to furlough as well.
I just have to remember to keep breathing, take breaks as needed and remember we’re all in this together.