Lonely

I put out a plea for attention today.

I’m a social person, an extravert. I love talking to people. Yes I have my anxieties and my doubts but for the most part, I love being around people.

I think that’s part of the reason I always loved my job, being around new people all the time.

Being confined to my home due to the pandemic and being shut off from society due to a furlough from work has been rough for me to say the least.

And sadly most of the friends I do talk to prefer to talk via Facebook Messenger or text message than voice to voice on the phone.

In a moment of desperation, today I posted on my Facebook,  “Day 897654 of quarantine and your social friends are not okay.”

I realize it was vague and didn’t say “Shay is losing her girl mind and needs human interaction,” but I didn’t want to sound desperate.

In six hours time, I had nine friends respond with emojis, two with memes and three with comments.

While it was nice, I don’t think anyone realized that I was breaking today. I’m feeling super alone.

Since I was furloughed, I have ventured out of my home on occasion to run errands, visit my work to speak with my boss and take the kids to daycare. I’ve had the opportunity on occasion to talk with my husband’s co-workers and even spend a bit of time with a few of my own co-workers.

But today it’s not enough. The social extrovert in me is lonely as hell. I need a Zoom call with friends, a phone conversation, something.

I’m not asking to bring back major concerts or football games or even open up the waterpark. I’m just asking for a little human connection.

I know every person on this planet has handled the pandemic differently. For those who have chosen to or were forced to isolate, there has at least been some struggle.

I think some people don’t mind the isolation or have found ways to deal with it. Some people are still working from home and have that purpose and connection even in isolation. Yet I know there are others like me or in worse situations who just feel alone.

I have my kids and my husband when he’s not traveling for work. I’ve made a few trips out of the house but today I just feel lonely.

I’m not one to ask for help. I’m not one to plea on social media for something. I’m not even one to tell my friends I’d love to talk to them on the phone.

I keep it bottled inside until days like today when it bubbles over.

For now, I’ll curl up with a book, snuggle a dog and hope for better days ahead.

Published by Shay Burk

I'm a lifelong learner who has had a passion for writing almost from time I learned letters. I love to write stories of people who inspire me, people who do good and people who beat the odds. Now I am turning the tables and writing about a topic I know well and avoid most — me.

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